Spaghetti prawns and clams

This recipe is for 4 people, you probably don't have 3 friends, so just do a bit of calculation or simply go to Mac Donalds and die there.

So, go out and buy 2kg of clams (here in Ireland it costs like if you are paying a fucking weekend with an escort in Dubai, but don't worry, just go at the cashier like this and everything will be fine. ).

Put the clams, in a bowl with water and salt, then put the bowl in the fridge, from 6 hours to one night.

This way, the clams will release most of the sand they have inside.

After this, take the clams out of the water and put them in a pan with nothing else.

Cover and start the fire

After 5 -10 minutes all the clams are open, so turn off the fire.

Prepare the prawns, if they have shells on, remove them. Also you should remove the intestine unless you like to eat shit obviously. 

To remove the intestine from a prawn, Just Fucking Google It.

Remove the clams from their water (don't throw away this water you idiot, cause it is the main flavor of this dish!!!!!!!!!!!, if you do, throw yourself away as well.)

Remove the clams from their shells.

Filter the clams water (it still contains a bit of sand).

Now, take another pan and put olive oil, garlic, parsley and chilly.

Start the fire medium strength.

Add the prawns after 5 minutes.

After 2 minutes, add the clams.

After 3 minutes, add Cherry tomatoes cut in half and half a glass of white wine and put the fire high strength. 

When the wine is gone add the clams water filtering again. then leave to cook for a good 10 minutes so that the water will reduce by more than a half, then turn off the fire.

Cook spaghetti. keep tasting the spaghetti, don't let them cook too much.

Voila, mix the spaghetti with clams and prawns on the fire, then serve in a dish and add a bit of chilly oil.

Eat it with a good white wine!

Teaser - Linguine Allo Scoglio

December, Saturday morning, an unusual sunny Dublin out there, me nursing a slight hangover in here.
My kitchen is a mess, the cleaner rang in sick earlier. Anna I know you're reading now, and I know you were out partying last night, you lazy ass, I saw you in you friend's pictures on Facebook sculling a pint in Dakota of all places, loved the fake snuffles on the phone, by the way, you're fired!

So what have I got left to do? No you didn't guess, I do not clean my own kitchen, you moron, I get other people like you to do it. So I go out, buy fags and walk slowly, looking around to find a place to get some food. I live in a beautiful and upmarket part of Dublin (I can) and there is a large choice of crap restaurants where people go to eat not for their taste buds, but to be seen. They smile, chat lively, look around the uber hip surroundings, paying undeserved compliment to the food (oh it's gorgeous, isn't it Chloe? Ah yes Aoife it is amaaaaaazing), thinking that the fact they are paying top dollar and the fact that the waiter floats around as if he was on a catwalk in Milan must mean they are eating good food; in absence of taste buds these poor knobs don't know they are being taken for a ride, snob knobs.

Needless to say, I didn't go to any of those pretentious shitty places and I ended up in Pinocchio in Ranelagh.

The place looks like shit but the food is good, let me ask you a question you moron: do you ask how the food is when you go to an art exhibition? NO. So why the fuck do you expect a restaurant to look like an art exhibition. A restaurant is for food, good food and that's it, go to a fuckin' museum to look at beautiful things.

This is what I got: Linguine Allo Scoglio

I eat good food, you eat shit in lovely surroundings

It was very good, but I can make it 1,000 times better, stay tuned, if and when I feel like it I will post the real recipe for you morons to enjoy.

This is what was left:

Picture upside down to piss you off

Have a good weekend and remember; it's better to eat good food in a shitty place than eat shit in a fancy one.